


Down at the Oak & Owl.

by skinsuit



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Drunk Jon, Drunk Jon Sims, Elias is drunk, Gen, Humor, Jon is a lightweight, M/M, Martin can put it away, S1, TW: Vomit, TW: alcohol., TW: coke, crackfic, drunk archivist, drunk elias, drunk!Jon, drunken antics, let's get jon drunk, the oak & owl pub
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23909980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skinsuit/pseuds/skinsuit
Summary: Jon decides to go to a post work  drinks at the pub.
Relationships: Elias Bouchard/Peter Lukas (implied), Martin Blackwood/Jon Sims (one sided pining)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 56





	Down at the Oak & Owl.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place in season one.

**Today 8:30 am**

**jsims** : TIM WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY KEYS!?

**stokert** : nothing lol.

**jsims** : You are lying! I can’t find the bloody things! WHAT DID YOU DO?!

**stokert** : honestly? I didn’t do anything with YOUR keys, boss. 😂

**jsims** : You got me drunk and you did this! I can’t find them anywhere!   
  


**martin_b:** No he didn’t have you …. Checked the freezer?

 **jsims** : what? Why would they be…… Oh hell. WHY ARE MY KEYS IN A SOLID BLOCK OF ICE!?

**martin_b:** …. you thought it would be hilarious.

**stokert** : told you I didn’t do, boss. 😂

**jsims** : ….hungover and watching my keys thaw in the sink. I’m going to be late.

**doublebossbouchard** : I’ll let you come in fifteen minutes later than usual, Archivist. Everyone is recovering from last night after all 😉

~~~~the previous evening~~~~~

Martin tapped lightly on the door to the archives.

“Yes?” Jon hissed glaring at him

“Some of us are going down to the pub to get some drinks, want to come?” Martin asked.

Jon sighed. “Martin I’m still working.”

“Right fine, sorry.” Martin said.

“I might show up when I’m done, “ Jon growled.

“Alright, bye.” Martin apologized closing the door.

So that was a bust, Martin thought as he dejectedly made his way up the stairs. Then his phone vibrated.

❤️JON ❤️

J:Which pub?

M: The Oak & Owl. It’s a little ways from the institute.

J: Who else is going to be there?

M: Tim, Sasha, sometimes Elias shows up…

J:Really?

M: Yeah, it’s sort of a thing, you coming?

J:….Yes. Wait for me in the lobby.

~~~~~

Martin was already at the lobby when he got this and stopped dead in his tracks and waited. The lobby was already dark and it was getting cold he smells the floor cleaner and the stone. Jon came up the stairs. He felt his heart leap and smiled slightly.

“As it turns out I didn’t have that much to finish up.” Jon said.

“Right,” Martin replied. “I’m glad you could make it.”

The Oak & Owl was a short walk, it had swinging sign with a big eyed owl sitting in undersized oak tree. Martin opened the door and the familiar tang in the air of beer and booze hit them. Tim and Sasha were already at the bar with two pints between them.

“You got him to come,” Sasha said with a grin.

“Martin! Boss!” Tim called to them.

“Well I didn’t have any other pressing matters,” Jon said. He looked at the tv. “Is that a nature documentary?”

“Yeah, Tom only puts on the match by request.” Tim said.

Tom the bartender was old balding man in dark glasses hovered nearby.

Jon sat at the bar next to Tim awkwardly. Martin ordered a thatcher’s gold cider.

Tom nodded and poured him the pint. It was Jon’s turn:

“Do you have any Sambrook’s Battersea IPA?”

Tom smiled nonchalantly: “I think we just might.”

Jon was distracted by a scene of a mantis eating a hummingbird on the tv when the beer came.

“Right, cheers.” He said and took a sip.

Martin watched him wince as drank Jon didn’t seem to enjoy the very thing he ordered. Martin nursed his cider and listened to co-workers talk, it was mostly shop talk. The door opened more people Martin knew from work came in. Jon was drinking and Tim was getting louder.

“No, no it wasn’t like that I swear I was hiking in Sweden when it happened—“

“—Sweden Tim? Last time you told the story it was Norway,” Sasha was saying rolling her eyes.

Jon had finished about a 1/4 of his pint and was getting a bit flushed, his eyes were sparkling a bit and Martin could swear he was smiling more.

“So was it Sweden or Norway? “Jon began.

“-It was…”

The door opened and Elias walked in, he grinned widely and walked over to them:  
“Well fancy meeting you here.”

“Double-Boss!” Tim said.

“In the flesh,” Elias said with a grin he turned to the bartender. “Tom my usual. I’m very surprised to see you here Archivist.”

“I finished up my work and I had nothing else…” Jon began.

Elias’s drink arrived a gin and tonic with an orange peel in it. He took a sip. Everyone continued chatting for the next half hour about nothing just small talk. Jon began to tell Martin the history of book binding Martin wasn’t sure he wanted to know but he did love sounds of Jon’s voice. Nearly everyone by this time had finished their drinks. Martin was only halfway done with his cider.

“You know what we need?” Tim said “Shots!”

“Yes, our hard working Archive staff here needs to relax and enjoy themselves I’ll pay for it myself. Tom a round of whisky shots for the archive staff if you please.” Elias added.

“Double boss?” Tim grinned

“And of course one for myself.” Elias said.

Martin felt a slight twinge of unease. Tom brought out the shots. Martin watched as everyone downed their shots. Jon’s face twisted into a rictus of disgust, Tim drank his like a water and Elias he snarled a bit as he swallowed but that was it. Sasha threw hers back head to far back see her face. Martin sighed might as well get it over with. It burned going down and filled him with warmth.

“That was fun!” Tim said. “I’ll pay for the next one!”

“There’s gonna be more?!” Martin exclaimed voice high and hoarse.

“Well no one is going to make you drink more if you don’t want to Martin,” Jon said the falsely calm tone of someone who thinks they can handle the ocean because they’ve been swimming in the kiddie pool.

“Tom same again!” Tim yelled.

“Right-o” Tom said getting out the well whiskey and pouring out another round of shots.

Everyone drank and Martin saw Jon’s curdle expression and his body shudder as he downed it. He laughed though.

Maybe this wasn’t so bad.

Then Jon started sliding off his stool.

“Wait a minute…”Elias said. “It appears the my dear archivist… needs another drink to steady himself.”  
Elias has his hand on Jon’s shoulder, Elias was flushed red. So Elias was THAT kinda of drunk.

Martin winced. “I don’t think we should…”

“I do.” Jon said.

“I might need one as well, Tom.” Elias called after the bartender. “Something good Tom get out the Talisker!”

The bartender tensed but poured out two more shots. Elias took both and held them almost reverently then handed one to Jon. “To the future, Jon.”

“….what…. Oh yes… future.” Jon mumbled.

And they both downed the shots of very expensive scotch. This time Jon did not make a face, but blinked and few times and wobbled on his stool.

“I need a fag.” Jon muttered.

Elias’s phone vibrated he picked it up and spoke: “Hello darling, what are you up tonight big man?”  
He turned and walked off to a table.

Martin was watching Jon slump into the top of the bar. Tim and Sasha were watching the nature documentary.

“Do you smoke Martin?” Jon asked.

“Errm No.”

“You should, I need a fag.” Jon muttered.

“Ermm can you tell more about bradel binding…?”

“Oh right…” Jon slumped closer and nearly fell on Martin. “So bradel binding started in 18th century Germany…”

It was thirty minutes later and Jon was leaning against Martin still talking about book binding.  
Sasha was drunkenly braiding Jon’s hair. Tim was telling them about some kayaking trip and Elias was texting on his mobile. Martin had finally finished his pint.

“….well this is boring,” Tim said. “We need some tequila.”

“What, no?” Martin said.

“YES!” Jon said shooting up.

“Did you say tequila?” Elias said looking up from his phone.

Martin winced. He’d been feeling good moment nice and warm and Jon was nuzzling him and …. now he could see the night dissolving.  
Tim was leaning over the bar and ordering. Martin looked at his co-workers, well it wasn’t as if he wasn’t going to be leaving on anything other then the night bus anyhow.

“I’ll think I’ll join you.” Martin mumbled

“Huzzah!” Jon said.

“Did you really just say huzzah boss?” Tim asked.

“….yes.” Jon replied blearily. “I wanted to that’s why.”

The shots came with lime and salt.

Everyone took turns sprinkling the salt on the back of their hand, shooting the tequila and then sucking the lime wedge. Elias seemed to take his time really making a show of sucking that lime wedge. It was Martin’s turn. Might as well he sprinkled the salt on licked, awful, drank the well tequila shot, wretched and then sucked the juice out his lime wedge and well that felt good actually.

Jon looked at him: obviously way past the point of sober but there was something warm and admiring in his eyes, Martin liked.

They did it three more times and each time grew easier, The happy warm floaty feeling made Martin giggle a little. He wasn’t like Jon who was now fully lolling over the bar or Elias who was slumped with his arms over the shoulders of Tim and Jon. Tim who was leaning into Elias or Sasha who was currently giving Tim a back massage. In fact Martin realized he was still pretty sober feeling.

The evening wore on and on.

“It’s too hot,” Elias announced. “Tom can you turn the heat off?”

“It isn’t on,” Tom said grinning.

Elias was stripping off his jacket and tie now.

“It’s still too hot.” Elias said. And began to unbutton his shirt.

Tim rolled his neck and looked dreamily at Sasha. “Did I ever tell you your glasses are so lovely.”

Sasha giggled. “Yes but say it again.”

“Your glasses are lovely. They’re so lovely.”

Martin was hoping they wouldn’t start kissing.

Jon wasn’t saying anything fo once he was just staring at the bar. Then he got up and said in a very grave voice:

“I don’t feel so good.”  
He covered his mouth and ran for the gents.

“Oh fuck!” Martin swore and pelted after him.

He found Jon hunched over the one toilet retching into it. Martin got down on his knees he held back Jon’s hair and began to rub his back as Jon continued to heave into the toilet.

“Tsk tsk. Waste of scotch.” Martin looked up to see Elias staring at him from the doorway looking smug. Martin decided the the gloating would have worked better if Elias hadn’t looked so disheveled, flushed and obviously drunk himself.

“You need to use the bathroom, Elias?” Martin asked.

“I can wait,” Elias smirked.

Jon was muttering and clutching the toilet still. Martin gently pried him off the bowl got him to his feet and walked over to the sink and washed his hands. Elias was already in the stall. Martin didn’t want to think to hard about that.

“I’m so sorry.” Martin apologized to Tom back in the bar.

“He ain’t a patch on Gertie, she could actually handle her booze,” Tom chided. “But I guess he’ll do.”

“….Gertrude Robinson was a shit archivist….” Jon mumbled into Martin’s shoulder.

Elias came out of the gents sniffing a bit of white powder on his shirt front. “All better now!” He announced.

His phone rang. “Are you actually on your way or just toying with me, hmm?”

Tim and Sasha were both no where to be seen and pub was looking pretty empty.

They left the pub, standing outside waiting for their rides Jon pushed himself off Martin and stood on his own.

Jon looked at Elias. “You have a cigarette?

“Why of course.” Elias said. He took two out of a pack lit both and handed one to Jon. They both puffed away.

A Mercedes-Benz pulled up and Elias opened the back door and he thought he saw mist or smoke some heavy vapor pour out and there was someone in inside? It was just a moment Elias waved to them and got in.

Jon had stubbed out his cigarette and they waited for the bus in silence.

“Thank you Martin,” Jon said. “I don’t know why but thank you for watching out for me tonight.”

“It was nothing,” Martin replied.

“No, no, I’m a complete prick and you don’t have to be this way.” Jon said.

“Well, yes I do. You need someone to look after you.” Martin said.

The bus pulled up and they rode in silence. Well, Martin was silent Jon was quietly talking to himself. Martin listened and realized Jon was doing monologues from Shakespeare. Odd.

They got on the bus and rode to Jon’s flat. Jon was giggling when they opened the door. Jon had a miserable little studio. But he pranced up into the kitchen and put his keys in a bowl, filled the bowl water and stuck in the freezer.

“Why did you…?” Martin started.

“To liven things up tomorrow,” Jon giggled. “I really deserve this, I’m awful.”

“You’ll regret it.” Martin said.

“Oh I will!” Jon giggled. He went over to the mattress and boxspring that served as his already made bed and collapsed on it, he was snoring in a moment. Martin sighed. He went over to Jon took off his shoes lifted him up like a bride, and pulled back the duvet and sheets and tucked Jon in, laying him on his side so if he threw up he wouldn’t choke on it. Martin turned off the lights and left.


End file.
